My Way of Thinking: Drama

In the last couple of months I have been told that I am dramatic.  The picture I chose for this post is dramatic. 35 years as an actor/singer were dramatic.  Finding good homes for dogs is dramatic.Maintaining relationships is dramatic.  So I guess I am dramatic.  After all, when enough people tell you something, perhaps it is wise to listen and do a little soul searching.

The question here is, am I too dramatic?  Does my passion for everything I do put people off?  Does my desire to share my life seem frightening to those who tend to be more reserved and private?  By loving with gusto, do I frighten people?  Maybe so.

We all are who we are because we choose who we want to be.  I have chosen to live my life LARGE!  It was my choice to share my life in a BIG way.  No one forced me to be honest.  No one forced me to speak my mind, share my passion, or share the love that comes to me naturally.  If that is drama, so be it.  I confront wrongs with passion.  Hatred, bigotry, prejudice, injustice (as I perceive such things) have to be addressed by me.  Even if I am wrong, it would be more wrong to stay silent when I feel strongly about something.  And, when I find out that I am wrong, it would be morally wrong for me to ignore it.  When I apologize it is heartfelt.  That is always dramatic.

I suppose that what I am trying to say is simply that we can't please everyone.  We have to live our lives to the best of our abilities.  Anything less than that is dishonest.  I find that life is very dramatic.  Running from the implicit drama that life provides would be anathema to me.  Facing it calmly with a thoughtful mind is my goal.  Does anyone achieve an absolutely level life without any drama?  Please introduce yourself.

I guess my message here is to pay attention to what others say.  Look inside.  Even agree with them if they are right.  Then decide if you really, truly like yourself.  If you do feel good about who you are, always realizing that there is room for improvement, move on.  Be willing to let go of those who don't understand you.  Love those who don't (maybe can't) comprehend your way of thinking.  As always, this blog is only MY way of thinking.

                                         Peace and Love,

                                            Austin/Bill

                                  www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My Way of Thinking: Sunrise

Sunrise is such an important time of day to me.  I meditate each morning as the sun comes up in the eastern sky, bringing the dawn of a new day and giving light to the world.  I always feel the intense energy that comes with the light.  I also feel the connection with everything and everyone on the planet.  I feel the hope that a new day signifies.  It is a new beginning.  It is a fresh start, a chance to leave the past behind and to make a brighter future.

This is the first time I have written this whole month.  Following my 58th birthday, I made the decision to go back to school to get my M.S. in Psychology.  I am now taking online classes at The University of Phoenix to achieve this goal.  It is another sunrise in my life.  Knowledge carries it's own energy.  It is thrilling to expand ones understanding and the challenge involved is exhilarating.  I am addicted to learning.  I love the process of coming to new ways of seeing the world around me.  I love gaining a better understanding and perspective on things.

We all have this wonderful opportunity to learn and grow every single day.  The world around us, the nature, the people who cross our paths each day, can all be our teachers.  If we take the time to slow down for a second and appreciate all the things that present themselves, we learn so much.  We learn about ourselves and that is the most important part of the learning experience.  We learn to appreciate our strengths and understand our weaknesses.  Understanding is the pathway to change.

Change is something that most people naturally resist.  We like that comfort zone.  We blanket ourselves in the safe and familiar.  But, with every sunrise, we are reminded that change is just part of life.  Embracing change is a lot easier than fighting it.

Well, that was a fun ramble.  After all, this is "Austin's Thoughts".  In writing these reminders to my readers, I am also reminding myself.  Treat yourself to a few sunrise moments this week, figuratively if not literally.

                                        Peace and Love,

                                           Austin/Bill

                               www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My Way of Thinking: The Greatest Day

Yesterday was birthday #58.  Wow!  Seems like yesterday that I was blowing out a mere 30 candles on a giant birthday cake with a picture of me on stage at the Hollywood Bowl.  That was then.  I prefer now.


My day yesterday began in the normal way.  I was up at 5am for my morning meditation.  Allowing the Universe to fill my tank with light energy is a ritual that I would hate to be without.  Jon, Roxy, and Charlie showered me with some extra birthday hugs and kisses.  We had pancakes with the help of Aunt Jemimah and then off I went to give four counseling sessions.  My day was already perfect.  But you don't know Jon.


At 2pm Jon met me at the center with a van, specially equipped for my power wheelchair, and a driver whisked us off to The Living Desert (one of America's great zoos right here in our valley).  Jon had also called the zoo's director and arranged a super VIP tour of the facility.  We were greeted like royalty and were taken immediately to the giraffe enclosure.  I was amazed at the space.  Acres of open desert for giraffes and camels to play.  Lots of shade and misters to keep them cool.  I was stunned to be invited inside the enclosure.  There I was greeted by three adult giraffes and one young one.  I was in heaven.  I touched them, hugged them, and received a kiss from the little one that knocked my glasses off.  Her tongue was rough and thick and I was hopelessly in love.


We visited all kinds of animals.  I held a young chimp who wanted to come home with us.  I was spit on by a camel.  Heaven.  You haven't lived until a camel spits on you.  I met a tortoise the size of a minivan.  And so many other creatures the Universe has created to make our little planet work.  As if I needed reminding that we two leggers are responsible for being their caretakers.


Okay, enough at the zoo stuff.  I could write a book about that alone.  After getting home, I checked in with Facebook to find dozens of good wishes, took a shower, changed clothes, and we were off to Billy Reed's, my favorite Palm Springs restaurant.  Again, Jon outdid himself.  We had a private room, our favorite server, Carol, and four couples who have been great friends to us.  We had a blast.  I even had two cocktails.  I was given some wonderful gifts including a Disney book that is very hard to find.  We got new leashes for our babies, a basket full of toiletries,  a framed lithograph of an elephant, some blu-rays, and my fave, a gift card for Wal-mart!


It was a day I will treasure for the rest of my life.  We received a letter from our landlord, giving us the permission to adopt a third dog.  We got a certificate from one of the volunteer vets from our animal shelter for a year of free veterinary care.  But the greatest gift was the outpouring of love from close friends and strangers alike.


Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who read my blog, to my Facebook group "Over The Rainbow: Pet Memories and Other Stories", to the two family members who have stood by me, to dear old friends who have loved me when I wasn't very lovable, to all my four legged furry pals, may the light that shines on me shine on all of you as well.  You all deserve the very best.  That is the wish I hold in my heart for each and every one of you!  Now and forever!!!


                                         Peace and Love,


                                            Austin/Bill


                               www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My Way of Thinking: Birthday Thoughts

Today is Father's Day.  That has always been a day that precedes my birthday by only a few days.  Of course, it is a day to remember my father, William Austin Howe Sr. but it has always also been a day to anticipate the passage of another year.  This year is no different but it bears a bit more significance to me.  My father passed on at age 58 and this Friday, June 22nd will be my 58th birthday.  It gives one pause.  At least it gives ME pause.

Having the same name as my dad is about the only real similarity between us at this point.  I don't see my father when I look into the mirror, either figuratively or literally.  I have had such different life experiences than he had and, because of that, I have a very different take on everything imaginable.  The lessons I learned from my father have no doubt been invaluable, but they have very little real time influence.

As a counselor, I run across certain recurring themes with my clients.  So many seem to look to their parents as the reason for why they are who they are.  I always point out that we can also turn that around and look to our parents for the reason why we aren't who they were.  It can work both ways.  The important thing is to avoid the blame game.  It was what it was but it isn't what is now.  The past can be instructional, but when dwelling upon it causes us to miss the present, we do ourselves a terrible disservice.

I recommend meditation.  There are many different forms of this, but whatever method you prefer, the object is to take a few minutes out of your busy life to reboot.  It is a chance to be still and experience the immediacy of being in the moment.  It is a chance to stop being the hamster on that wheel to nowhere.  Meditation helps you to be still both physically and mentally.  It is a moment to listen and experience the energy that surrounds us.  Hard to experience that energy as intake if you are only expending it.

This is certainly one way I am very different from my father.  He was on that never ending treadmill.  I have learned to take time to be still.  Because of that, I turn 58 years young without trepidation.  I admit it feels a little strange and a little sad that he left so young.  But I am not my dad.  And that is what I remind those who come to me for advice about the effect of ones parents.

                                           Peace and Love,

                                              Austin/Bill

                                 www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My Way of Thinking: Boozer

Sometimes things just don't work out as planned.  This was one of those times.  Jon and I had decided to adopt a 9 year old male dog named Boozer.  One look at those eyes and I was in love.  It all happened rather quickly.  I spoke with a facebook friend who knew the dog's owner.  Then I spoke with the actual owner and it was decided that Boozer would come live with us in Palm Springs.  I was beyond excited.  But the day of Boozer's arrival was a disaster.  Everything that could go wrong did.

It was hot.  Roxy, our 15 year old female decided that this was a good occasion to show dominance.  Our apartment manager decided to display his own kind of dominance by saying we couldn't have another dog.  The people who brought Boozer to us were understandably uncomfortable with the apparent situation.  How could they know that these things were not a problem to me?  I would have called our apartment owner and solved that little glitch.  Roxy would have calmed down.  But they took Boozer away.  For the first time in my life, I was told that mine was not a suitable home for a dog.  I waited until they left to cry like a baby.

All kinds of things went through my mind.  I was terribly hurt and that came out as anger.  For a brief period I forgot all the things that make me sane and became a raving lunatic. But finally, with a lot of love from my friends, I came back to my senses.  I realized that love was the answer.  The Universe has other plans for me.  Acceptance HAS to be the order of the day.

I reread my own words on this blog about Mourning The Loss of a Pet.  It is kind of funny that I ended up healing myself.  It made me aware that we all have that ability.  The Universe gives us all great power if we just tune into the gifts that are right there for the taking.

                                            Peace and Love,

                                               Austin/Bill

                                   www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My Way of Thinking: Dysfunctional?

As my readers know by now, I counsel homeless and disadvantaged people for a local charity organization.  I have been doing this for two years now and I have talked with a lot of clients over that period of time.  I am not a psychologist so my main focus is on trying to find resources for the people I talk with.  But psychology comes with the territory.  People who need help ask questions and I feel that I have to help in any way I can.  So I use a technique called "active listening" to help them get to the route of their problem with the knowledge they possess inside.

The word dysfunctional has become something that many people seem to banter about to explain why they are the way they are.  "I come from a dysfunctional family" is a phrase I hear in nearly all my conversations with clients when they try to explain why they use alcohol or drugs to escape their current problems. While I am fairly certain they DO come from a dysfunctional family,  I have to ask, "Who doesn't?".  Families are inherently dysfunctional no matter how hard they try not to be.  We ALL come with a certain level of dysfunction.  I agree there are different levels of this, but basically their is dysfunction whenever two or more people get together in any kind of emotional relationship.  We may have like thinking, but we do not think alike.  Siblings who are brought up in the same environment often have totally different views on what that environment actually was.  It is all a matter of perception.  It is also a matter of choices that each individual makes.

Using past experiences to excuse or explain away a current situation is bogus.  Other people can influence us for sure, but ultimately we all make our own choices.  It is easy to blame our backgrounds for everything.  But, when all is said and done, we are the ones who choose for ourselves.  The choices we make are what truly shape our lives.  Others may influence us, of course, but bottom line we make our own choices.  Sometimes we choose not to make a choice at all, but even if we do that we have actually chosen not to choose.

It is only when we take responsibility fully for who we are right now that we can be free of the blame game.  Dysfunctional relationships?  Sure.  All their fault?  THAT I don't buy.  I come back to the word choice.  We choose to stay or go.  We choose to be happy or sad.  We choose to love or hate.  We are in charge of how we look at things.  The devil made me do it is just a way to avoid our own responsibility to shape our own destinies.  When we waste our time blaming our dysfunctional lives on others we are looking in the rearview mirror.  We are missing the brick wall straight ahead.  Who do we blame when we crash head on into that brick wall?  Our choice.

This is food for thought.  I don't pretend to have the answers.  This blog is subtitled "My Way of Thinking" for a reason.  I mean only to inspire you to take another look inside yourself.  If you begin with a choice to love, I guarantee you will be better prepared to face life as it IS.

                                             Peace and Love,

                                                Austin/Bill

                                   www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

My way of thinking: What I've Learned From Dogs

I suppose I write about this subject all the time.  But I thought it might be fun to put it all into some kind of order.

I have had dogs since I was 5 yrs old.  I loved them and they loved me.  But I never really thought about all the things they were teaching me.  It wasn't until about 1996 when I got a dog from a shelter in Key West.  We named her Miss Parker and she loved us from the moment she was released from her prison.  She is a story all by herself and I will tell it soon.  For now, I will talk about the many thing I have learned from the many, many dogs who have changed and enhanced my life.

#1: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE  This is something that dogs have all over their two legged counterparts.  They don't care if you are rich or poor.  They don't care if you punish them.  They will love you no matter what.  Even a dog who is left outside, even chained, will be thrilled to see his human.  They hold no grudges.

#2: FORGIVENESS  Every dog who has come into my life has an enormous capacity to forgive.  I have seen dogs who were abused, and yet they still loved the person who was their abuser.  Talk about turning the other cheek.  I know I couldn't be that forgiving.

#3: LOYALTY  There is no loyalty on earth like that of a dog. We have all seen the stories about the faithful dog who holds vigil over a beloved owner who has passed away.  They grieve every bit as much as the humans.  Maybe more.  They also grieve over the loss of a companion pet, be it dog or cat.  While a dog seems to forget an abuse, they don't seem to forget the loss of a friend.

#4:  ENTHUSIASM  Dogs are interested in the world around them.  Some more than others but all seem to appreciate every tree, every bush, every dog, cat, squirrel, or bird that crosses their path.  They greet each day with joy.  When you come home from work, or even a 10 minute absence, they greet you with wagging tails as if you were gone for a week.

#5:  APPRECIATION  A dog appreciates every pat on the head.  They love those belly rubs, head scratches, and the ever popular butt scratch.  They love every walk, every meal, and every water change.  They love every word of praise, every kiss, and every show of your love.  They are truly sorry if they misbehave and make you reprimand them.  Often they don't know what they did wrong, but they don't ever want you to be unhappy.

#6:  COMFORT  Whenever a dog senses that you are unhappy, they will come to you and offer their comfort and understanding.  They will sit with you quietly and lick away your tears.

I can come up with more, but I try to keep my posts short.  As always, I appreciate your comments.  I always love it when anyone joins my site.  That way you receive my posts via email so you don't have to search them out.

These were some of the things I have learned from dogs.  I work hard to exhibit these same traits.  Dogs inspire me.

                                          Peace and Love,

                                              Austin/Bill

                                  www.wahjr56.blogspot.com