Rant # 21: What constitues the life worth living!

I have been silent for a few days. I have been somewhat consumed with the remodeling of our home. More than that, there  have been people I love who have needed me to be present

for them. I have a few priorities and my loved ones will always be first on that list of things to do.

We have been in a hotel while the painting is being done. It has been fun in a way, but Jon and I have come to see what nesters we are, including our pups, Roxy and Charlie. We all want to be home. We want the comfort of the familiar smells. The four walls that surround us, regardless of color, are the walls that make our home. We all want to be back in that zone, and tomorrow that is what will happen.

For the past week or so, some of our friends have had serious issues to deal with and more. Well, I take those things to heart. I meditate. I send out my energy (you can call that prayer, if you like), I make the effort to be present and in the moment. In other words, I choose to give. I choose to love. I choose to make a difference. All the while choosing to be happy, choosing to be content, choosing not to allow negativity to disrupt my day, choosing to be loved.

That paragraph should have spoken for itself. It all comes down to that very simple thing, choice. Why is that choice something that we find so hard to make? Why is it so much easier to choose to be infected by the negatives that are more than willing to bombard us from all sides every time we turn around? Why do we ignore the light that surrounds us and search for a candle? Why is it hard for so many to simply be happy?

I wish I had universal answers to those questions. I will share with you what I have learned to be true for me. Love is always the answer to anything that doesn't feel right to you. Look for love in any situation. It is in there somewhere. The soul is your core. The body is what drags you from place to place. The mind is what tells you how smart you are while knowing all along that your only real intelligence dwells in your spirit. Stop listening to voices. Start hearing what your spirit knows to be true. Trust. Believe. Love. Give. Care about others while caring about yourself. Forgive yourself before all others. Then open the floodgates that have waited to open for too long.

                                             Peace and Love,

                                                Austin/Bill

                                    www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

Rant # 20:

You know how you feel when you have an absolutely perfect day? Well that's the kind of day I had today. It began with the love of my family. Charlie lays in wait for me to open my eyes. Once I do, he pounces as if he hasn't seen me in ages. Then Roxy gets involved in the mayhem and finally Jon steps in to bring some control back into the picture. Every day starts that way in our home. How can you feel anything but gratitude for all that love?


When I woke up this morning, I was already prepared for a beautiful day. We had done the groundwork for our totally renovated home. We only had one big meeting with our painter to solidify our remodeling plans. The rest of the day was all ours. I could catch up with my emails, make some phone calls without time constraints. Even threw in a few Skypes. I didn't have a single thing on the agenda that I didn't want to do. How often does that happen?


The thing about today that made it such a standout was that the early morning love that I have become accustomed to just didn't stop. Every contact with every person all day was filled with love. There was no effort on my part. The love was just flowing like a refreshing waterfall. All I had to do was bask in the glow from the light that was infusing my spirit.


I realized today, as I often do, that every day can be this way to some extent. Of course there are problems that have to be dealt with from time to time, but those inconveniences don't have to dominate your day. They most certainly don't have to dominate your life. When you program yourself to ask "What can I give?" rather than "What can I get?" every day, you have set yourself up for success. When you make it your mission to share your love with others, you don't have to worry about it coming back to you. It simply will. With practice it becomes automatic. You have to remain diligent and avoid those pesky negatives, but in general everything falls into place all by itself. Perfect days really can become the norm rather than the exception! It is your choice. Others can only affect you to the extent that you let them. I repeat. IT IS YOUR CHOICE!

                                       Peace and Love,

                                           Austin/Bill

                               www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

Rant # 19: Making friends

I realize that my daily rants haven't been quite daily the last few days. I always think I can do it all but even super me can't always fit in everything I want to accomplish. Sometimes I just have to be selective about what constitutes a priority and what doesn't.

Ordinarily Jon and I maintain a very simple life. We live with our two kids in a studio apartment. We cut corners and save as much as we possibly can. But during the past few months we decided it is time for us to stay within our means but also reward ourselves for being such frugal boys. We both came from rather fancy situations so we are quite proud of ourselves for being able to focus on what is truly important to us. That being, helping others and working with the ASPCA to find homes for beautiful rescue dogs.

The last two days we went on a shopping spree. Monday was all about new clothes and new kitchenware. We haven't really bought any new clothes for about three years. As for kitchen stuff, we have made do with odds and ends we found at thrift stores for many years. Well, now we have brand new everything for our kitchen, dishes, silverware, pots and pans, casserole dishes etc. As far as clothes go, we didn't make a big leap. We stayed with the Palm Springs basics like cargo shorts, polo style shirts, T shirts, and jeans for those fancy occasions.

The next day we bought a lot of new furniture. Out with the futon, in with a sofa bed. Bye bye old chair, in with a glider recliner. New bookcase, new night tables, new lamps (oh how I love the new lamps we chose). Don't worry, we will share pics when all is said and done. We still have to paint and have shutters made so it will take another 10 days or so.

The thing that was a pain was the amount of time spent on the bus to get where we wanted to go. But really the bus trips turned out to be the most rewarding part. I got to speak to some truly remarkable people. Not the people we meet at our favorite coffee place, but people who are working hard just to get by. To some, even the bus is a luxury. I was so amazed at how resilient most people are. They truly are trying their best to survive in today's economy. I didn't perceive bitterness or anger. I think that's something reserved for the evening news. These folks were joyous!

It just reminded me that it's not what you have, it's what you give. It's not about being loved, it's about giving love. It's not about looking at the negatives in life, it's all about going forward with a positive outlook. When you share your positive energy, it comes right back in the most miraculous ways.

Yes, we were fortunate enough to afford new stuff without incurring debt. But, at the end of the day it's just stuff. That will get old and go away in time. But the wonderful interactions will have a ripple affect that will last forever.

                                       Peace and Love,

                                         Austin/Bill

                                                             The Way I think  

                                                     www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

Well it was bound to happen. Sooner or later I had to have a day that didn't turn out right so that I can let you know that I too am only human.


I woke up with a very upset tummy. Well, these things happen. But I was supposed to meet an old friend from High School days for lunch. Since I was married to the bathroom, I had to cancel. Obviously that was disappointing. Still I told myself that maybe this just wasn't meant to be right now. Pretty positive way of looking at it, right?


Well, later in the day, I was looking at the various posts on Facebook. There was one that was very anti-gay. You know. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Cultures that accepted homosexuals fell. It's immoral. Blah, blah blah. I usually ignore such ignorance but today I decided to take on the battle.  I was wasting my breath and I knew it. But I persisted in making my point. When I finally realized that I was up against a Ku Klux Clan mentality, I finally came up for air. I was angry and I know that anger and love don't dwell in the same place. So I had a choice. I could continue a negative discussion and remain angry, or I could end it with a loving statement, assuring the combatant that we would have to agree to disagree. I chose the latter.


I share this with you because I want you to know that living in the light of love is not easy. It takes constant effort, and when you find yourself trapped in a no win situation, you have to develop the self control, and self knowledge, to reign yourself back in. Believe me, it IS work and it is always ongoing. We all have days that just refuse to go our way, but those days have a purpose. They remind us to be vigilant. We are reminded to stop the negativity, look inward, find the love at our center, and regroup. I KNOW that is hard to do sometimes!


I had to fight the impulse to verbally bash someone because I was having a less than perfect day. Was it easy for me? Hardly. But I did it because I chose what kind of person I want to be. Everyone has that choice. Embrace each moment as it comes. Try your best to keep from giving in to a negative moment, but if you find yourself in that place, take a moment to remember that your choice was to be loving and kind. Remove yourself from the situation with a loving affirmation, and move on.


I never kid my readers. It ain't easy, but the rewards are soooo worth the effort. I will sleep well tonight knowing that I will have the opportunity to do better tomorrow.



                                             Peace and Love,


                                               Austin/Bill

                                                                        The way I think                                                          
     
                                     www.wahjr56.blogspot.com         

Rant # 17: Positive trumps Negative

I love all the comments and questions. I will do my best to address them all as we go on this journey together. I do have to admit that it disturbs me a little that many comments seem to assume that I have always had a blessed life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I came to the place where I am today by way of hard knocks, lots of reading, and lots of internal struggling. It took many years of concentrated effort with a huge dose of willingness to be truly happy.


Three years ago I fell and broke my left hip. I didn't have health insurance at the time so I didn't get any medical treatment for a year. During that year I was totally bedridden, depending on Jon to take care of everything that couldn't be accomplished by phone. I finally got health insurance and went to a doctor. The good news was that my hip had healed. The bad news was that my muscles had atrophied over the year in bed.


Physical therapy was hard and painful but after months of exercise, I was at least able to walk with a walker. I didn't walk far but it was going well. I used my power wheelchair to get around town. Then on April 16th, 2001, I was crossing a nearby street in a crosswalk with a flashing yellow light, when I was hit by a car. My chair undoubtedly saved my life. I was thrown out of the chair onto the pavement but my injuries were minor compared to what they could have been. If I hadn't broken my hip, I wouldn't have had the power chair. Without the chair I could have been killed. See what I'm getting at here?


Everything happens for a reason. I realized immediately how quickly life can come to it's end. It reminded me of the absolute necessity of living every moment as if it might be your last. There wasn't time for my life to flash before my eyes. The accident happened in a second. All I had time to think was "Oh Shit!" It was back to bed for me for about 4 weeks. I lost some ground on my physical therapy. But I was more alive than ever. I felt that the way I have chosen to live my life is spot on. I had this opportunity to walk the walk. I am grateful for the accident because it validated everything I have come to believe.


Now, don't get me wrong. I don't recommend getting hit by a car to solidify your belief system. But I do believe that we are all given opportunities to reevaluate the way we live our lives. When those times come we have to be ready to act on them. It's easy to throw ones hands up and give in to the negativity of "Why me?". It is harder and much more rewarding to find the positive side to any situation. I know, I sound a little like Pollyanna. But even she went through a dark time when she fell from a tree and became a paraplegic. She taught those around her that a positive attitude can work miracles.


Take nothing for granted. Remind yourself in every conversation that the impression you leave may be the one that will remain long after you are gone. Being positive, even in the face of a great challenge, will give you peace and joy. It will also change the course of everyone you come into contact with. Love is the answer to every question. Center yourself with love and everything else will follow suit.


I say nothing that hasn't been said for thousands of years by men who are much wiser than I. I just want to remind you of what you already know. Search inside for the answers you seek. That is where you can tap into the truths that are already there, just waiting for you to slow down long enough to hear your own wisdom.


                                            Peace and Love,

                                                                     Austin/Bill
                                              The way I think   
                                  www.wahjr56,blogspot.com










  

Rant # 16: Forgiveness

Last night my dogs were playing as usual. Suddenly Charlie did something that Roxy didn't like. That rarely happens but Roxy has no problem putting Charlie in his place. Of course, Charlie was devastated. He loves and respects his big sister so much. He is a very sensitive boy (must be gay) and he would rather die than upset Roxy.

After their little spat, Charlie came up on the couch and laid down next to me. He needed comforting. Within a minute Roxy walked up to the couch, gave Charlie a big lick on the nose, and let him know that all was forgiven. Overjoyed, Charlie jumped down and together they continued their game as if nothing had happened.

The dogs have a way of making me think. Their behavior is such a template for we humans. They can get angry with each other, express their feelings, and then totally forgive and move on. They can do this because they are totally committed to love. I work with many abused dogs during our season in Palm Springs (too hot in the summer) and it never ceases to amaze me how they still want to be loved. It is in their DNA to give and receive love.

But I digress. What amazed me last night was the pups ability to forgive almost immediately. We humans seem to have a much harder time doing that. We tend to hold on to everything including anger. Why do we do that? We are capable of forgiving. But we have trouble putting forgiveness in action. Even after we give our forgiveness we don't just forget about it. We will drag around whatever we perceived as a wrong for a very long time. We can remember wrongs more than we can remember names or small acts of kindness.

What works for me is to remind myself that I am coming from a place of love. Love can't feel anger. Anger doesn't exist in the same space that love does. When you remember that love is your true core, forgiveness can be ever so much more genuine. Love can even help you to forget whatever made you angry or hurt in the first place. Letting go becomes a far more attainable goal.

It may seem to you that I am writing about the same thing all the time. Perhaps that's why I chose the word "rant" for the title of my blog. I AM basically saying the same thing over and over because I hope the reader will see how love gives us the power to overcome all obstacles. Armed with love we can forgive ourselves and that opens the door to forgiving others.

                                         Peace and Love,

                                          Austin/Bill
                                      www.wahjr56.blogspot.com

Rant # 15: Regrets

Regret. Oh how I dislike that word. I hear it from people all the time and it always gives me pause. When someone tells me they regret a choice they made in life, it tells me that they are dwelling on the past. Obviously, they aren't talking about the future. And certainly they aren't regretting the present. They are regretting a choice they once made. Why do that?

Here is an idea I have. Let's say that, at birth, we are each given an open cardboard box. Inside the box are pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. It is our job from birth to death to fit those pieces together in order to reveal a complete picture. Since there is no lid on the box, we have no idea what the picture will look like when all is said and done.

First we go through the jigsaw pieces and pick out all the ones with straight edges. Then we put them together to create the border of our picture. This is our foundation and it's fairly easy to put together. Then it starts getting harder and harder as we search for pieces that fit together to create the rest of the picture.

One by one we pick pieces that seem like they might fit together. Sometimes we pick the right piece immediately. Other times we try piece after piece before finding the one that fits perfectly. Now, do we regret that it took many tries to find that perfect piece to our puzzle? I think not. We have patience with ourselves because we are doing our best. We are trying and, even if we're wrong, we have learned at least which pieces work and which don't. After finding pieces that fit easily we increasingly face the difficulty of finding ways to fit the less obvious pieces together to form our picture.

This may seem to be a fairly simple analogy. Well, it is simple. Why regret something that can't be changed? The logical choice is to forge ahead until you find the right choice. When that right choice comes along you have the experience and knowledge to see more clearly which choice is right for you. You have already put those wrong choices off to the side to be used when the time is right. We all make mistakes but , hopefully we learn from them. Sometimes we have to learn the same lesson over again. This is part of our lifetime education. Do we regret any other kind of formal education? Well you see what I'm getting at, I hope.

When you find yourself using the word regret, you are really saying that you still need to learn to love and forgive yourself. You have to learn this lesson before you can effectively live a life of peace. It comes down to letting go in order to go forward without the impediment of regret.
                                
                                      Peace and Love,

                                         Austin/Bill
                                     wahjr56.blogspot.com